Thursday, December 12, 2013

May My Kids Never Forget—Fill yourself each day with the Word

This idea is cousin to praying first, last and always.  Life isn’t always easy, so make use of the equipment available to you when you can! 

There are two things that make reading the Bible each day so important.  The first is that the Word of God is the only living, breathing Bread of life.  It matters to every person every day for all of time.  Pray (first, last and always) while you read it and let it comfort you because of past hurts, meet you where you are in the moment and prepare you for what is to come.

The second is that this world can be a rough place.  There are a lot of things out there that can distract and deceive you.  Some of it is downright evil, aggressively and out-rightly bringing destruction. Other things may be evil, but more subtle in its attack; seductive temptation can destroy the complacent.  Other things aren’t evil at all.  They could even be good things distorted by obsession or distraction from what you are supposed to be doing.  With all these things that could draw us from God, arming yourself appropriately is just sensible.

The Bible is so very relevant, and is something you can assuredly stand upon.  Don’t take my word for it, or any other person’s.  Don’t only read books about the Bible, or sermons teaching on the Bible.  When Jesus died on the cross the curtain dividing the Holy of Holies from the people ripped.  We have direct access to God!  You can read the Bible and understand it; you can pray directly to the God of all creation! 

Christ died to allow for this.  He did it on purpose for that very reason—to reconcile us to God.  We no longer need priests and other go-betweens. We are adopted children, loved and accepted.

When you live out your day, you will meet with ideas and practices to which you will need to respond—in approval, in rejection or with apathy.  To respond rightly, you must know the Truth.  How will you unless you fill yourself with Truth as a regular diet?

Just like I said in the prayer post, reading your Bible each day is not a chore or something to feel guilty about when you miss.  Feel privileged.  Feel responsible.  Know what it cost for you to be able to read that book.  Know that it would be utter folly to walk out in the cold without the proper winter gear—and equally foolish to walk in this world without Truth coursing through your thoughts.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

May My Kids Never Forget Part 4

I love the lesson for today.  I have preached this one since before precious kid number two was even born.  Son, remember we bought you Blue Baby, a lifelike baby doll, to help you practice being Big Brother?  You sure took those lessons to heart, because I know no other brother who is as wonderful to his little sister than you are.  And it made a difference, because I also know no other sister who loves her brother as much as you, my dear daughter.

And that leads me to the thing I want you to know and to never forget.  Be best friends with each other. 

Having friends is terrific.  Blessings.  You know how much I adore my own friends.  I see them all as gifts from God.  Some friends are purely circumstantial and are companions for what seems only a moment—a pal to see you through a brief lesson or period of grace.  Others stick around for a longer season—a college buddy or Mommy commiserate-er.  Some people you see frequently because schedules dictate it—for a few weeks to many years.  You get along famously, but a change in interests or availability suddenly vaporizes that friend so quickly that you may wonder if he was even real.  Then there are friends for life.  Some few people really do stick around through thick and thin.  Man, hold on to those treasures!

But siblings are in another category entirely.  No one will know you for as long as you two know each other.  No one else will have grown up with your mom, your dad, your traditions, your family culture.  No one.  You guys can be most real with one another.  You guys have the most practice forgiving one another.  You two know each other’s fears, pet peeves, favorites (and that the boy just despises being asked about favorites).  You know what you’ve overcome.  You don’t have to give any background information to each other; you just get to share!

That is a pretty cool thing.  Look after each other.  Make the effort to keep your relationship close.  Keep the slate clean. Even if you move across the world from one another, you live in an age of glorious technology; there are no excuses.  Keep in touch. 

Hold each other accountable.  Encourage each other.  Like each other.  Drop everything for each other.  Listen when you yell at each other.  Save each other from stupid choices.  Get together in the same room whenever possible. 

Don’t let anyone ever drive a wedge between you.  I promise whoever would cost you your sibling will drop you, too.  No other relationship is worth your sibling.

If you marry and have kids, take in the extra family.  Love your sib-in-law.  Show your love by preserving that marriage.  Listen to frustrations about marriage, and send each other right back to apologize, even if you think the in-law is wrong.  Be the best aunt and uncle ever. Be at the births. Celebrate the firsts, raise the cousins to love each other.

You two are so special.  I like you both and love how much you like each other.  Love the other friends.  Be great friends to those you meet.  But never underestimate the special thing you have going between the two of you.  Cultivate it and protect it.  Be best friends!

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

May My Kids Never Forget, Part 3

Here is another truth I want you to live out each day:  Pray first, last and always. First Thessalonians 5:16-18 in the New American Standard Bible says, “Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” If you haven’t yet, tuck these verses into your heart and mind to get you through your day.

For today’s post, I want to focus on verse 17.  “Pray without ceasing.”  “Never stop praying” is the New Living Translation.  I remember I used to think that this was just impossible.  So impossible that it wasn’t even supposed to be taken seriously.  I read, ‘Pray without ceasing,’ but I thought, ‘Pray when you remember to, and when there is nothing else you could be doing.’  I mean, really.  Who can actually pray without ceasing?

You know that song What a Friend We Have in Jesus?

The second verse laments:

Oh, what peace we often forfeit

Oh, what needless pain we bear

All because we do not carry

Everything to God in prayer

How true this is!  Remember what prayer is.  We get to talk with the Creator, Counselor, Abba, Friend personally!  Why on earth do we pass that up?  Paul’s instruction to pray unceasingly is not a rule that you have to feel guilty about breaking.  It is more like a friendly reminder to drink, eat and breathe!  It is for our own sakes that we need to pray.  Prayer is an astonishingly extravagant gift.  Don’t let it gather dust on a shelf.

At the beginning I told you to never forget to pray first, last and always.  Troubles come.  When they do, instead of doing everything in your power and keeping prayer in reserve when all else fails, pray first.  Before you take action, start making lists in your head, or let your blood pressure hit the roof, pray.  Tell God all about it.  Talk with Him about what is going on, what has you excited, what concerns you and even the stuff about which you are fully confident and don’t even ‘need’ Him for.  Then—now this is important—listen.  Be still.  Even if you are running as fast as your legs will move to the sound of ominous crashing, be still in your heart and listen.

And when it is all over, and you are only realizing now that you haven’t taken a normal breath in a day, week or month, pray.  Thank Him.  Go over it all again.  Learn from it.  Relive it in the safety of His arms.  Cry. Laugh.  Praise Him.  Find joy in the sorrow.  Ask Him to show you the redemption in it all.  Pray last.

During the trials, during the mundane, during the things that try to steal our minds from the truth of this life…Pray alwaysPray without ceasing.  It means acknowledging and welcoming His presence and care in your life.  It means Jesus isn’t just your ticket to Heaven, but your Lord and Friend here and now. 

I love you both so much.  Remember you aren’t alone.  Talk to the One Who is always with you.  Listen to His wisdom, experience His love, take His everlasting life into yourselves.

Monday, December 9, 2013

May My Kids Never Forget, Part 2

Today I want my kids to know and never forget to be kind.  Choose it.  Be kind on purpose.  Think about it.  Look for (until you find) opportunities for acts of kindness.  Go out of your way to be kind.  Inconvenience yourself.

There is a saying that says something like, ‘be kind, it costs you nothing.’  There is truth to that.  A smile, letting someone ahead of you in line, a compliment, being patient, wishing someone a good day (better yet, praying the Lord blesses that someone)… These things cost us little to nothing, but can make a tremendous difference in the days and lives of the people we see. If it costs you so little, why begrudge such gentleness to others when life is already hard enough?

Is that the full measure of kindness:  niceties that cost us nothing? I don’t think so.  There is more to this being kind thing.  Leaving it there misses something vitally important. 

The truth is, sometimes you do sacrifice to be kind.  In an episode of Grey’s Anatomy—I am not going to get into the morality of the show, or of watching it—Izzie is being kind to Alex when he really needs it, but certainly doesn’t deserve it.  In response to being asked why she would help she offers this:

This makes me laugh because sometimes being kind is hard.  Really hard.  And very right.  Izzie struggles with being kind in a kind way, but determines to be kind the best she can in spite of herself. 

I would modify the little saying in this way:  Being kind costs you nothing except maybe that which you need to lose. You may have to pay with your indignation to be kind to someone who you don’t want to forgive.  You may lose some pride when you are kind to someone who doesn’t receive it graciously. Your self-righteousness will take a hit when you show kindness to someone you thought was less worthy than you—and you discover how much you really have in common! Consider these instances double blessings!

You will certainly pay with your excess time and money if you are being kind as often as you can, especially when you are kind to strangers and to others who cannot pay you back.  You will likely even pay with your not-so-excess time and money if you are doing it right. 

When you lose these finite commodities of time and money, you will have to choose more carefully how you spend what you do have. You won’t be able to buy what you want when you have already spend some of what you had on kindness. You will need to evaluate what you can do without. This will free you from ever being owned by your possessions.    You will be blessed with a life that is made more simple, and more free to be kind!

So, my kids, be kind.  Plan on it.  Don’t let it happen on accident.  Budget for double the toll (or coffee) so you can pay for the car behind you. Take the time to look at the lady bagging your purchase and ask her how she is—then listen to her response.  Keep gallon Ziploc bags with toiletries and non perishable snacks in the car to hand out to homeless people you see.  Donate your clothes.  Over-tip whoever serves you, and look them in the eye when you thank them.  Smile.  Wave at pedestrians.  Be kind.

Saturday, December 7, 2013

May My Kids Never Forget

I am hoping to write a series of posts to my kids.  There are a few things I want them to know and to never forget.  So why not write them down?  Here goes, in no particular order.

Today I want you to know and to never forget that I love you.  Man, do I love you!  I have dedicated your whole lives to loving you and have never once regretted any perceivable sacrifice to do so.  I am privileged to have been able to stay home with you since you were born.  I cherish the memories only God and I share of your early years.  Sick, scared, delighted, set-backs, triumphs… I got to be there. What a gift beyond measure it has been to love you in this way.

I can say that I regret only not loving you better sometimes.  I failed at times to be more patient, more joyful, more focused on you.  I am sorry for my failings—those I know about and especially those I do not.  I have always prayed that our Lord would fill the gaps I have created; I believe He will.  I pray you let Him, forgive me and live a life skipping for joy knowing this:

You

are

loved.

I love you for who you are, how you are, what you do, what you like.  You both are funny, intelligent, independent thinkers.  You both are quirky and see things in unexpected ways.  You both have stubborn streaks that you’ve learned to use to God’s glory.  You both have an unnatural sensitivity to the Holy Spirit that I hope you protect and grow.  You both try hard and care about doing things well.  You are geeky and like geeky things.  I like that about you.  You aren’t afraid to not like things.  You don’t follow the crowd just to follow the crowd.  You are easy to get along with, which is good; but you make up your own minds about things, which is better. 

Stay open and humble and quick to listen to others.  Remember to meet new things and ideas with, “I don’t know much about that; tell me more!”  Measure everything you hear to the Word of God and assimilate nothing that doesn’t agree. Never be haughty or cruel to the one who presented an idea you reject.

I also love you independently of all the cool things you are.  I love you only because I do.  You can’t change it.  You can’t earn it.  I just love you.  When you are a pill, harmfully stubborn, thoughtless and even when you embarrass or disappoint me, I love you.  You will make choices that will break my heart.  That never means I want to break relationship with you.  And it never means I stop loving you.

I love you fully.  That means that I will do for you, I feel affection for you, I champion you, I cheer for you. 

I want you to win.  But not as a bully.  Not dishonestly.  I want you to win in the real game.  The big picture.  Which probably means that in ‘real life,’ the everyday, you will lose often.  I want you to win over temptation.  I want you to win over evil by being good.  I want you to win as the kindest, the humblest, the most loving.  That means that others will make you look stupid, weak or a downright fool.  Don’t be deceived by such false appearances and don’t fret about others who are.  Walk in confident truth that frequently the ones who look like the winners simply aren’t.

I don’t want you to use your amazing selves—you are so smart, so creative, so capable—to best others.  I don’t want you to lord your achievements over the less able.  I want you to lift others up, even if it means passing on this world’s trophies.  Beat pride.  Vanquish jealousy.  Steal cruelty’s last breath.  Remember who the enemies are.

I want you happy.  More than that, I want you joyful.  I want you to choose right, even when it makes you feel sad.  I love you, so I want what is best for you.  As much as I want you happy, I love you too much to make that my life’s goal and pray that you never ever settle for such a fickle thing as happiness.  Happiness is only about getting things your own way.  Joy comes from embracing God’s way—which is always best.

You know these things.  Don’t forget them.  Don’t be fooled.  I love you.

Monday, February 4, 2013

State of the Family

While Presidents have to address the Union to report on its status, I will give an update on how the family is doing.  I am excited to do it especially since I never got to the Christmas cards, which is such a natural time to assess things.

We live in the woods on a mountain in the high desert, and we have a love-dislike relationship with the remoteness.  We really aren’t all that remote—about six miles from the center of town, which is, itself, rather remote—but there is a definite snow line during winter between town and us and it isn’t exactly a quick jog for visitors to come or us to go on a milk run.  It snowed before Christmas a LOT, and we are just now seeing the dregs of that storm dwindle, thanks to steady below-freezing temperatures through most of January.  I hadn’t realized how cold it was until the evening I decided to take a little walk because ‘it wasn’t that cold out.’  I passed a big light up thermometer on the street and was shocked to discover it was 35 degrees!  When, exactly, did three degrees above freezing become balmy?  Sometime during crazy January when we were pummeled by single digit highs!

The state of the family address probably shouldn’t begin with a paragraph about the weather, but it matters when things get that extreme.  The kids and I were training for a 5K, until the streets became ice-skating rinks.  I fell in love with Zumba last year, but haven’t been since the mercury dropped.  A positive is that I have learned to really, really, really like soup!  Looking out the windows to beautiful winter-wonderland scenes is only enhanced when your hands are enveloping warm ceramic something filled with savory goodness.  See?  The weather matters.

I shared earlier that we began a new year of school with the new calendar year.  The books we are reading are top-notch, each earning the title New Favorite Book.  Why Pray?, Guests and Stink Alley are what we are currently digesting.  Why Pray? is so compelling that I am reading and sending excerpts to anyone I think I can bother. Stink Alley was both insightful to the era, but also offered some great conversations about what the truly right thing to do is in tough situations.  When we finished Guests, I almost cried because I wanted more.  Most books we read are well written.  By design, our curriculum company selects books that serve as teaching aids on the subject we are studying, but also as models for writing, so it is often a foregone conclusion that the authors employ imagery, metaphors, character development and writing mechanics with laudable talent.  Maybe that has jaded me to it, because I frequently breeze through poetic descriptions, or innovative word choices.  But Guests…. Wow!  I just devoured this book as though it were a rare delicacy—and I a starving vagrant!  No class at all, I marveled, repeated and even giggled at the author’s expressions and word choices.  It is just so beautiful.  On top of that, the characters were compelling.  At one point, my daughter interrupted the reading just to exude about loving the girl in the story.  One chapter ended with all three of us with tears because we were laughing so hard.  If that weren’t enough, the story itself was a familiar one taken from a new viewpoint, with revelations at the end that reflected an integrity of humanity. 

The other aspect of school that has us experiencing the thrill of adventure is the increased rigors of testing and detailed documenting.  School lasts longer each day, too, simply because the depth and breadth of teaching has increased.  I am proud of the kids for rising to the challenges with terrific attitudes.  It isn’t always easy, but they are striving for excellence and that sense of accomplishment.  While we are learning academic substance, I am far more excited by the desires I see in them to behave with poise under the pressures.

As a family, we are in a bit of limbo as we await the Lord’s leading in regard to our future.  Where we will live and questions regarding college can loom large for me.  I am learning daily about His grace that is enough for today.  It is hard to find the balance between being prepared and not running ahead.  I wait.

In the last many months, I have dealt with some medical issues.  I lost some weight, which reduced my already low blood pressure to a degree that made it unsafe for me to drive.  I have been to countless doctors to find help with fainting and dizziness, and I wasn’t eager to go down that road again.  But I did.  In the process, I collected an unexpected diagnosis for an autonomic nervous disorder that prevents my brain and heart from communicating so well when adrenaline is introduced to my system.  But the diagnosis that is primary in my day-to-day life is just the extremely low blood pressure.  I take a medicine (three times a day!) that constricts my blood vessels to increase pressure.  Think thumb on the garden hose.  The medicine offers a decided improvement over my natural state, but I still struggle with feeling dizzy pretty often.  I am still undergoing some debilitating cycle issues and there is no ready answer for that.

My husband is at a good place with work and has good friends who share his interests in apologetics and games.  Our church family is God-ordained and we are excited to mature and learn and serve with them.  In fact, when I think of our church family, my pulse invariably picks up.  These are exciting times and the best part is my husband’s role in it.  His excitement and involvement and thoughtfulness and care are just so cool!  He will tell you how long he has felt like an outsider in the family of God; tolerated on the fringe as a brother who needs prayer, struggling to be who he is in constraints too tight.  I don’t think this is an accurate description for his condition anymore, praise be to God!  He is free to be himself, to pursue paths the Lord sets before him AND to be fully present in the church.  What a gift!  Our children, too, are learning more about the Biblical prescription for the Church and that they have an important part in it.  Oh, how long we have prayed for this!  What a blessing it is.

That is a not-so-quick sum of where we are right now.  So many more things are running through my mind to add, but I will trust that I hit the highlights, and won’t drone on any more.  Smile

Friday, February 1, 2013

My Man's Birthday

Today my hero turns 42.  He is the answer to life, the universe and everything!  

I am so thankful to be married to this particular man.  I was thrilled to marry him way back when I did, never realizing how perfect he was for me and our family.  This truth awes me.  As time has passed, he has become only more perfect for us.  How was I to have guessed that as a 22 year old crazy girl?  Thank the Lord for His provision!

Because I married this man, I had this boy and this girl.  They are all marvelous.  Because these kids have this man to call dad, they are game-loving, Dr. Who-watching, HG Wells-reading, dancing, playful, apologetics-respecting geek-nerds who are fully comfortable in their own skins.  Because this lady has this man to call husband, I am loved-loved-loved unconditionally and unfailingly.  I have a picture of Christ right in my own home that staggers me with a sense of my worth.

Because of this man, we get to live as we do.  Home-birthing, home-schooling, home-churching happy off-center people we are.  He is terrific.  He encourages us to do what we dream, to follow Christ more fully and to live fearlessly.

Thanks, God, for making this amazing guy for us!  We couldn't have done it better.

How am I Raising a California Valley Girl in Iowa?

I was talking with my oldest daughter the other day--one of my favorites, because every day when our family of seven is together is a favori...