It's Been a Rough Week

 I’ve been writing this post in my head for days.  I keep going round and round about the title. 

Breaking The Cycle
It Ends With You
It’s Me, The Problem is Me
Do You Really Expect Them to Fix it On Their Own? (Ya Dummy)

What do you think?  We are having a week!  Like, the entire week feels like one interminable Monday. There are times when all the training just goes out the window.  When I am worn down and can't remember the last break I got, I feel like two people.  There is the rational part of me who knows what would help.  And there is the exhausted shell-of-a-woman part of me that can't muster the best practices. The girls are stubborn, needy, mean, argumentative, demanding, whiney, mean, disobedient, aggressive, disrespectful, loud, distracted, and mean. 

At one point I told one that she cannot play with her sisters anymore because she is not being kind.  She yelled that she was just about to change it when I interrupted.  Oh, really?  I just looked at her.  She might actually believe that she can be mean and had planned on changing her behavior seconds AFTER I intervened, and that I am the unreasonable one.  I could almost go along with her narrative if she changed her behavior even once.

After steeping in this yuck for a week, I feel just as mean and ugly as they are.  I want them to shape up so I can get in a better mood.  Whoops!

Can you hear the record scratch and breaks screech? Yeah, me, too.  It doesn’t make me happy or the situation any easier, but I at least have a cognitive understanding that they aren’t going to get out of the mire on their own. *Sigh* I’m going to have to be the grown-up and press into the Holy Spirit to scrub me clean and fill me up.  I need to be the change because this is definitely not working.