Parenting Kids at Age 25, 23, 9, 7, and 3

I think I am in a special parenting situation. Our oldest is 25 and our youngest is three—though she will be four by the time this is published.  While there are families with that age range, there are usually more kids evenly distributed between the oldest and youngest. 

When there is a big gap like we have—our second born is 14 years older than our ‘middlest’ kid—it is most often because the parents have regrouped to start second families with new spouses.

But here I am, with the same man, parenting five kids in a 21-year range.  My husband and I have been seen as the grandparents to the littles with our adult kids assumed to be the parents. When I go out with my four daughters, people ask my oldest how old the younger girls are, thinking they are deferring to the mom.  It is fun when they hear the baby call me mommy.

Combinations of parenting duties highlight our unique situation.  I potty train and meet boyfriends.  I have girls’ night out with my friends and oldest daughter, but speak in code to evade my younger girls’ comprehension. I watch Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood, Superhero movies, Call the Midwife, and Reacher. 

I stay up late to connect with my oldest kids—ask me about the midnight questions!  Then I am up at 2:00 because of night terrors. Then I need to get up as usual because the early riser won’t be delayed. 

I talk about what sound letters make, drill kids in addition facts, review the Gospel, discuss the pedagogy practices of English Language Learning middle schoolers, and listen to stories about spays and anal gland expressions all in an average day.

I have to keep three rapidly growing girls clothed in the right size; sometimes that seems like a job all on its own.  I also listen to my adult daughter lament the trials of budgeting and eating healthy when grocery prices keep climbing.  At the same time, we are helping our son get into a position to move out despite the low wages people in education are paid.

I love my life. I like participating in disparate stages of life simultaneously.  It adds layers and enriches everything. I know each stage will end because it’s right there in front of me in the life of another child of mine.

Living this way also accentuates what does last.  Trials will always be around—the type of trial may change, but they all have stressors and challenges.  The trials—even the ones I know are more trivial—break my heart.  I’m pulling for my kids, praying daily for them to choose Jesus, to persevere, to trust, to stand up, and to choose well.

I don’t need to follow celebrities or sports.  I just fangirl over my husband and kids. That leaves my heart as full as my hands!